Spend more
time around people. If
you want to make friends, you first need to put yourself out there somehow in
order to meet people. Friends seldom come knocking on your door while you sit
at home playing computer games
1. 2
Join an organization or club with people
who have common interests. You don't necessarily need to have a lot
of common interests with people in order to make friends with them. In fact,
some of the most rewarding friendships are between two people who don't have
much in common at all, but if you like a specific topic, try searching for just
a location. It's a great way to meet new local people! Social networking sites
such as Facebook, Twitter, BlendAbout and Google+ are great way to meet new
people and learn more about the people you meet. A church, Masjid (mosque),
temple or other house of worship is a great place to start since you have at
least have a religious faith in common.
1. 3
Join a sports team. A common misconception
about this is that you have to be really good at playing a particular sport in
order to make friends with others on the team, but not all teams are so
competitive. As long as you enjoy the sport and support your teammates, joining
a local team with a laid-back attitude could be a great way to make new
friends. But a sports team isn't the only way. If you play instruments
or sing,
try joining a band or choir.
2. 4
Volunteer.
Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working
together you build bonds with people, and you might meet others who have a
passion for changing things the way you do (a common cause).
3. 5
Talk to people.
You can join a club, go to school, or go to church but you still won't make
friends if you don't actually talk to people. By the same token, you don't have
to be involved with an organization to be social, and any time you talk to
someone, you have a chance at making a lasting friend. You can talk to anybody: the clerk at the video store, the person
sitting next to you on the bus, or the person in front of you in the lunch line.
Don't be too picky. Most conversations will be a dead-end of sorts, when you
may never talk to that person again, or you just remain acquaintances--but once
in a while you'll actually make a friend.
4. 6
Make eye contact
and smile.
If you have an unfriendly countenance, people are less likely to be
receptive to your friendship. by not squinting (get some glasses), looking
bored, frowning or appearing blankly deadpan, folding your arms or
hanging out in a corner; such habits may make you look troubled or
disinterested.
5. 7
Start a conversation. There are many ways to
do this; a comment about your immediate environment (The weather is a classic:
"At least it's not raining like last week!"), a request for help
("Can you help me carry a few boxes, if you have a minute?" or
"Can you help me decide which one of these is a better gift for my
mom?") or a compliment ("That's a nice car." or "I love
your shoes."). Follow up immediately with a related question: Do you like
this warm weather? What kinds of gifts do you normally buy for your mom? Where
did you get shoes like that?
6. 8
Make small talk. Keep the conversation light and cheery.
Even if you're complaining about something, make sure it's something you're
both dissatisfied with, and emphasize the positive—how such a situation can be
avoided in the future, or alternatives. Bounce a few words back and forth for a
little bit. Many conversationalists say that it is good to follow a 30/70 (30%
talking, 70% listening) pattern during small talk when possible.
7. 9
Introduce yourself at the end of the conversation.
It can be as simple as saying "Oh, by the way, my name is...". Once
you introduce yourself, the
other person will typically do the same. Remember his or her name! If you show
that you remembered things from your past conversation(s) with the person, not
only will you look intelligent but he or she will see that you were paying
attention and are willing to be a true friend.
8. 10
Initiate a get-together. You can chat your heart
out but it won't get you a friend if you don't open up the opportunity for
another conversation or meeting. This is especially important if you meet
someone who you aren't otherwise likely to meet again. Seize the day!
9. 11
If you've discovered that
the person you're talking to has a common interest, ask him or her more about
it and, if appropriate, whether they get together with others (in a club, for
example) to pursue this interest. If so, this is a perfect opportunity to ask
about joining them. If you clearly express interest (when? where? can anyone
come?) they'll probably invite you. If you have a club, band, church, etc. that
you think they might enjoy, take the opportunity to give them your number or
email address and invite them to join you.
10.
12
Ask them out for lunch or
coffee.
That will give you a better opportunity to talk and get to know each other a
little bit better. A good way to extend yourself is to say: "Hey, well,
I've got to go, but if you ever want to talk over lunch or coffee or anything
like that, let me give you my number/e-mail address." This gives the
person the opportunity to contact you; they may or may not give you their
information in return, but that's fine. Maybe they don't have time for new
friends—don't take it personally! Just offer your contact info to whoever seems
to be potentially a good friend, and eventually somebody will get in touch.
11.
13
Don't do anything to
pressure someone into being friends with you. Never chide
acquaintances for failing to invite you to a party, for example; don't call
someone repeatedly or stop by uninvited (unless you have established that
stopping by unannounced is OK); and refrain from overstaying your welcome
anywhere. In general, take friendship slowly, and don't try to force intimacy
to grow quickly; the move from acquaintance to friend can take a long time.
It's understandable to want more of a good thing, but try to err on the side of
less. If you are not sure about the pace of your new friendship, check in with
your friend and ask directly. Too much, too fast can be scary or intimidating,
and not everybody is able to say "Slow down..." - instead, they may
run the other way!
12.
14
Be loyal to a friend. You've probably heard
of fair-weather friends. They're the ones who are happy to be around you when
things are going well, but are nowhere to be found when you really need them.
Part of being a friend is being prepared to make sacrifices of your time and
energy in order to help out your friends. If a friend needs help with an
unpleasant chore, or if he or she just needs a shoulder to cry on, be there.
If your friends make a joke, laugh with them. Never complain about a friend.
13.
15
Be a good friend. Once you've started spending time with
potential friends, remember to do your part (e.g. initiating some of the
activities, remembering birthdays, asking how the other person is feeling) or
else the friendship will become unbalanced and an uneasiness or distance is
likely to arise.
14.
16
Be reliable. If you and your friend
agree to meet somewhere, don't be late, and do not stand them up. If
you're not going to make it on time or make it at all, call them as soon as you
realize it. Apologize and ask to reschedule. Don't make them wait for you
unexpectedly; it's rude, and it is certainly not a good way to launch a
potential friendship. When you say you'll do something, do it. Be someone that
people know that they can count on.
15.
17
Be a good listener. Many people think that in order to be
seen as "friend material" they have to appear very interesting. Far
more important than this, however, is the ability to show that you're interested
in others. Listen carefully to what people say, remember important
details about them (their names, their likes and dislikes), ask questions about
their interests, and just take the time to learn more about them. You don't
want to be the guy or girl that always has a better story than anyone else or
that changes the subject abruptly instead of continuing the flow of conversation.
These people appear too wrapped up in themselves to be good
friends--"one-ups-man-ship" is a put down.
16.
18
Be trustworthy. One of the best things
about having a friend is that you have someone to whom you can talk about
anything, even secrets that you hide from the rest of the world. The key to
being a good confidante is the ability to keep secrets, so it's no secret that you shouldn't tell other
people things that were told to you in confidence. Keep in mind that recent
studies show that people rarely keep secrets. Before people even feel
comfortable opening up to you, however, you need to build trust.
17.
19
Choose your friends
wisely.
As you befriend more people, you may find that some are easier to get along
with than others. While you always give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes
you realize that certain friendships are unhealthy, such as if a person
is obsessively needy or controlling towards you, constantly critical, or
introducing dangers or threats into your life. If this is the case, ease your
way out of the friendship as gracefully as possible. Preoccupy yourself with
other things, such as a new volunteer opportunity, so
that you can honestly say that you don't have enough time in your schedule to
spend time with them (but don't substitute their time for time with other
friends; they may notice and become jealous, and more drama will ensue).
Cherish those friends you make who are a positive influence in your life, and
do your best to be a positive influence in theirs.
18.
20
Put emphasis on the good,
unique qualities about yourself. Are you funny? If yes, then great, a
little humor always keeps conversation light and happy, and people love to be
around someone who makes them laugh. If you're like me and you have a quirky,
different style of humor then make sure you let them know that the things you
say are in fact a joke, so that you don't just come across as simply weird.
This way they will understand a bit more about you too, which could potentially
spark their interest. If you are a unique person, then show it!
19.
21
Encourage your friend: A very good friend
encourages his/her friend. He/she will remain with him/her in both good as well
as bad times. Never ever make fun or laugh at your friend in front of others.
If someone is making fun of him/her a good friend will come to save or support
his/her friend.
20.
22
Get a job, many people
meet and socialize that way.
21.
23
Be confident. Many people are not
very confident. They are reserved, timid and afraid to start a conversation.
Make the effort and start talking no matter how uncomfortable it feels.
22.
24
Don't separate your
friend from the rest of the group. Some people get jealous of their friends
if they talk to other people or make other friends. Most people don't like it
and would no longer want to hang out with you
23.
25
Use a friendship
matchmaking website to make new friends! Sites like FriendMatch
were made to help people make new friends instead of dates.